Good evening everyone,
I'm afraid I had a huge mental breakdown last night, it was one of only four I can think of since I was diagnosed with depression and didn't expect to see the morning...
It ended up being an exhausting night of violent thoughts about myself and others, I didn't get much sleep, when I did it was dreams of a similar nature.
I'm writing this offline as sometimes the last thing you need to see or 'hear' can pop up and trigger it all over again! I will post this and log straight off again, for the same reason my phone is turned off.
Well I arrived in Newport early as I was up early and I can't even remember 90% of the journey, I must have been on automatic pilot, I can remember getting to the outskirts of the city and from then on! For all I know I could have been asked out for dinner tonight by beautiful lady, that's a frightening thought, not the dinner date bit, the fact I can't remember the trip!
Anyway I knew I had to call in at Liscombe as I had to collect some new boots as mine had started to fall apart, thank you Richard and Tracy for sorting this out.
Another thank you is to Zia, Elton and Kate, your donation to the tea fund has just paid for me to stop on a caravan site in Newport for the next two nights.
I also met up with Dub (Gareth Dupre) for a brew and a natter made me feel a lot better after that :)
I suppose the biggest thing for me and the triggered breakdown is the fact that doing this there is noise almost all the time and you have to be pleasant even when you feel terrible, I can't even go home and get some peace and quiet and have a rest!
Just had a visit from Gwent Police checking on my health, thank you to the officers seeing if I need help, not to night, twenty-four hours ago a different matter!
Thank you to who ever called and worried about me.
Last night I had only a a few beers when it kicked off, tonight having a load to shut the brain down and after being tired it will only be a few more.
Life is never easy...
Good evening everyone,
Feeling a bit better today, still haven't turned on the phone or been online for more than a couple of minutes.
I headed in to the city centre this morning to start the memorials there.
I found one to the second youngest boy to die in World War Two, he was fourteen years and 207 days and was a galley boy in the Merchant Navy.
I'm stopping in Newport another three nights including tonight.
I headed out into Newport again to try and find some more memorials, its not easy as a lot of the churches are locked. It was mentioned when the Imperial War Museum sent me the data that they think Wales is under recorded, I went in one church on Thursday and when I processed the images the whole church was unrecorded. I've also struggled to find some memorials that are supposed to be in open spaces.
I finally turned the phone on last night, it took me more than two hours to go through all the SMS messages. I'll try and go through all the emails tomorrow, I suspect that will take a few hours as well.
I headed out again this morning in the hope that some of churches would be open, nope, not a hope. I headed back to the cats as the rain started, it still raining as I write this...